?cribbled 0range

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I know I'm restless.
And I know my patience is running short.
But I just don't know whats causing this.
Maybe its all the tests, and worrying about the marks.

[edit]
"I'm not scuplting, I'm just releasing the angel from within" -Michael Angelo

After much thinking and walking outside the house (it soothes the soul), I think i've sorted out most of the stuff in my head...

Okay, anyway, on "releasing the angel from within". Sounds so philosophical. SEE POD! POD! (mutters under breath about POD)...

ANYWAY. I guess after the much talk about humans (eric), human nature, and with the huge amount of workload, and the talk with my dad, I've come to realise the importance about your own characteristics, and how you cant judge others by the book.

"dont judge a book by its cover"

I realise over the past few months, I've been rather self centered, judging people i meet on the bus, train, when i look out of the window, by their looks, when i havent even met them and got to know them better (not saying i should, but still)...

I guess for me, I've kind of drifted away, with all the homework, schoolwork, test(work). And started thinking about the materialistic part of the world. blahh. And the thing is, in chinese class i was taken aback when the topic of discussion was about BGR being basically about the outside you more than about the inside you. More of good looks, rather than good personality first. That what strikes you about a person is their good looks rather than their good personality.

Which brings me back to the first part of "releasing the angel within". I guess, some people haven't found their "angel within", maybe even me. I dont know. Its a long and winding path, christianity is. And maybe I have fallen off this narrow path, into the world of materialism and shallow judgements. Maybe I've forgotten what it truely means to be a friend to people, and more of me being an acquaintance and no more. Chinese class today made me realise that people would talk to you, your popularity is based on how you look, how you carry yourself, how you dress, rather than whats really inside.

Maybe i should start judging less of other people, more of myself, and start changing.

It has been a taxing time.
(especially studying chem and thinking about this)

[editedit] colour test!
Your Existing Situation
Needs warm companionship, but is intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to him. If this is not forthcoming, is liable to shut himself away from them.
Your Stress Sources
The tenacity and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties has become weakened. Feels overtaxed, worn out, and getting nowhere, but continues to stand his ground. He feels this adverse situation as an actual tangible pressure which is intolerable to him and from which he wants to escape, but he feels unable to make the necessary decision.
Your Desired Objective
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand his fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.
Your Actual Problem
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond his capabilities, or his reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. He attempts to remedy this by intense activity and by insistence on getting his own way. Faulty self-control can lead to ungovernable displays of anger.

the colour test IS actually quite accurate

sam_ took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of exp..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

sam @ 1:48 AM